What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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