Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
