If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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