Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
