Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
