i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
