I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
