i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
