if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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