maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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