The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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