Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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