who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
