Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
