i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
