She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
