butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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