so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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