Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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