I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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