Me too!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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