Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
