Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
