i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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