so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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