Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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