It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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