is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
