last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
