Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
