i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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