if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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