when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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