You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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