And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry about my life...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
