i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
