Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
