The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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