Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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