Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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