I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
