dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
