I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
