It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
