She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
