there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
