She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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