How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You made out with two different species that night
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
