I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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