im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
