there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
