Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Who wears a wallet chain?!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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