great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
