unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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