i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
