i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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