OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize