I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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