Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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