someone owes me an orgasm
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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